Keidra Hobley: 0:38

Welcome to the One Yes At A Time podcast. I'm Keidra... here with my friend Susan... and we're gonna talk about love today. Faith. Hope. Love. Notice The pattern? So here we go. The topic of love is such a broad topic... just like faith. And we can go in multiple directions with this, but one of the first things I thought about, is that there are different types of love. That's right. Yeah. Eros.. A physical love is, it's a love between a husband and a wife. Right. You know, that sexual love. And then phileo? Is that right?

Susan Dies: 1:06

Phileo.

Keidra Hobley: 1:07

Phileo, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking about a steak. Okay, but that's the brotherly kind of love. That's right. A friendship kind of love. And then Agape. Agape is the sacrificial, unconditional love of God. And that's the one we as believers often focus on and then is there a fourth one?

Susan Dies: 1:24

There is a fourth one... and I just learned this. It's storge. It's familial love, like between a parent and a child, or brothers and sisters, or extended family. And all four of these types of love are found in the Bible. But there's also this one instance in Romans 12:10, where phileo love and storge love is combined... philostorgus. It's a combination of friendship love, and familial love. So this is the kind of love we have for brothers and sisters in Christ... other believers who are like family to us... because they're our spiritual family, even though they're not related to us by blood. And yet if you think about it as Christians, we are blood related to other believers... just not by our own blood, but by the blood of Jesus that was shed for us.

Keidra Hobley: 2:08

That's beautiful. And, and When you think about love, it's actually a verb. So It has action. That's right. You know, it's not a feeling. It's a decision that results in an action. And so, as we study things like the love languages.. Mm-hmm... those are actions. What's your love language, Susan?

Susan Dies: 2:26

Mine is Words of affirmation.

Keidra Hobley: 2:28

Okay. Yeah. I have a sign posted in my kitchen that I thought was gonna help my children...'cause I taught my children about love languages at a very young age. And the sign that I have put right above the sink in my kitchen is, I like hugs... I like kisses... but what I really love is help with the dishes."

Susan Dies: 2:45

So that's physical touch and acts of service kind of combined? No, that's acts of service. Oh, okay.

Keidra Hobley: 2:50

Solely. It's like, I like hugs, I like kisses, I like those things... but what I love is help with the dishes. That was my way of trying to tell them, can somebody help me with the dishes? So one of the love languages, acts of service. Yours is words of affirmation and then there's three others?

Susan Dies: 3:04

Right. Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages, and he talks about these five different ways that we express and receive love through acts of service.. Mm-hmm... physical touch... words of affirmation... gifts... and quality time. And the way we receive love is our love language. Yeah. And I believe God has a love language and I think it's found in 1 John 5:3. It says,"And this is love for God: that we obey his commands and his commands are not a burden." Mm. The way we express genuine love for God is not through our words, but by our willingness to trust him and to obey him. And so I think his love language is obedience. What do you think about that?

Keidra Hobley: 3:48

Oh, that just did something to me. That is the best thing I've heard all day. Like, that is beautiful. God's love language is obedience. I never even thought about it like that, but that is beautiful. Yes.

Susan Dies: 3:59

And not because he just wants us, to do what I say to do. The reason it shouldn't be a burden is every single thing that God has ever told us to do.. Mm-hmm... or not to do... every boundary he's ever set for us was an expression of his love. That's beautiful. He's trying to keep us safe. He wants the very best for us. Mm-hmm. And so when we believe that he's a good God, that he's a good Father, that all of the things he says to us in His word is out of love for us... and we choose to trust him.. Yeah... and we choose to show that trust through our obedience to him.. Yeah... that is a genuine expression of our love to him that he receives. I believe.

Keidra Hobley: 4:37

That, oh my goodness. When you were saying that the Lord just showed me Peter. When Jesus was restoring Peter back to himself essentially... when he said,"Peter, do you love me?" And what did he say? Then feed my sheep. Right? That's the obedience part. If you love me, then you're gonna obey me. You're gonna do what I've asked you to do. You're gonna do what I asked you.. And you're gonna trust me. Yeah. That's so good. I never thought about it like that.

Susan Dies: 5:01

I think about the fact that Peter was one of Jesus's three best friends. Yeah. He said, I would even die for you. Yeah. You know, he was just declaring his loyalty to Jesus. Mm-hmm. And Jesus said, you're gonna deny me three times.. Yeah... before the rooster crows. Mm-hmm. And Peter was saying,"No, Lord, that will never happen." And of course.. It did... everything Jesus says comes to pass. Yes, it's exactly what happened. He denied him three times. But what's so beautiful is that when he restored Peter, he asked him three times, do you love me? Yeah. Do you love me? Do you love me? Yes, Lord, I love you. Exactly. You know that I love you. He gave him three chances to offset the betrayal of those three times when he said, I don't even know him. And you can hear it in Peter's voice. He wants Jesus to believe him. And of course we know that Jesus did believe him, but I just love that he gave him those three opportunities when he was being restored.

Keidra Hobley: 5:57

That's so beautiful. That's so good. So I've jotted down a couple of verses from the word.. Mm-hmm... that speaks to love. Okay. And so I just want us to just kind of chat about them. Is that okay? Okay. That sounds great. Of course, the first one that comes to all of our minds.. Mm-hmm... if we know Jesus is John 3:16. That's right."For God so love the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life." Yes. I guess I probably should just go ahead and share Romans 5:8 too, because it's similar."But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." Love is willing to die to self. Hmm. Jesus literally gave his life. He did. And so the expectation... if Jesus gave his life, then his expectation is that we'll be willing to give ours. Death to self is a form of dying to express a level of love.

Susan Dies: 6:51

Right. Yeah. And it's difficult.

Keidra Hobley: 6:52

It's very difficult... to die yourself. It's very difficult. What does that even mean... to die to self? To be willing to give up what I want for what someone else wants. That's right. To be willing to give up my way for God's way. To be willing to say no to Keidra so that somebody else can get a yes. Mm-hmm. So it's the everyday decisions that we make when we put others before ourselves. That's dying to self.

Susan Dies: 7:17

Right? Mm-hmm. When I think about John 3:16, I think of that as the ultimate sacrificial love. I mean, for God to show us this kind of love, literally cost him everything. Everything. Because Jesus was and is God in the flesh. And so God gave his one and only son. I don't know anyone else who would be willing to do that. And then you mentioned Romans 5:8. You said, God demonstrates his own love for us in this, that while we were still sinners." Yeah. This is everyone... we're all sinners. And so God doesn't just love those that the world considers to be good. God loves everyone... and I'm so grateful for that because I'm one of those sinners.. Mm-hmm... that Christ died for. Mm-hmm.

Keidra Hobley: 8:01

And, you pointing out while we were sinners. Like even dying to self... how we demonstrate love to other people while they're still doing that thing we don't like that they do. Hmm. While they're still, pushing our buttons... while they're still getting on our nerves. Can we just be real about it? Oh, yeah. While they're still doing that... we still choose to love. Right. And that's where dying to self comes into play. So I like that you pointed out while we were sinners, that Jesus still chose to die for us.

Susan Dies: 8:32

Right. And we can love someone and not like what they're doing. Oh, that's so good. I think that's important. That's so true. A good distinction.

Keidra Hobley: 8:39

Okay, let's look at another verse. This is fun. How about Matthew 22:37-40? This passage says,"Jesus replied, you must love the Lord your God, with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind, this is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally as important. Love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments." All right. What do you take from that verse?

Susan Dies: 9:08

All consuming love for God that involves our whole heart, mind, body and soul... that then spills over onto everyone else.. That's good... when we're loving God in that way. And the Bible tells us that God is love... so if his love for us is all consuming, it only makes sense that the greatest command is for us to have the same all consuming love for God and for others. The first commandment is love the Lord your God... but the second is like it. Mm-hmm. Love others as yourself. Yeah. The way you care for yourself. Yeah. And a lot of times that's by putting self first. Mm-hmm. And what he's saying is don't put self first. Put others. Put others first. Yeah. Because that's what God has done for us.

Keidra Hobley: 9:51

That's so good. I also look at it from the perspective if I don't love myself, then I can't love others. Right. I like the fact that you mentioned it is loving the Lord first in all these ways... with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul. That's what's gonna help me love others. So it's connected. It's, isn't it?

Susan Dies: 10:11

It's connected. It is. And it is important to have that kind of healthy love.. Mm-hmm... for self, that comes from the love that God has poured into our hearts.. Yeah... through his spirit. And then we're able to pour that same healthy love out onto others.

Keidra Hobley: 10:26

Yeah. So good. So good. What about, John 13:34-35?"So now I am giving you a new commandment: love each other just as I have loved you. You should love each other. The love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." If people cannot tell that something is different... in the way we love... then we are not being good examples of Christ in the earth. Right. Right. Yeah.'cause it says your love for one another will prove to the world. We can talk about Jesus all day. We can share the gospel all day. We can read scripture all day. We can pray all day. But if we aren't loving people.. Mm-hmm... then we're not gonna be able to prove to the world that we're actually his.

Susan Dies: 11:10

That's right. When I think about John 13:34-35, which you just read, I think about compassionate love. Okay. And I say that because compassionate love centers on the good of others. To love one another is not a new commandment.. Mm-hmm... even though it says, a new commandment I give you. It's a clarification of God's original command to love each other. Mm. And Jesus emphasizes love others as I have loved you. When Jesus told his disciples to love one another in this way, he had just finished washing the disciples nasty feet. Okay. That's a job that's normally reserved for servants. The point being that our love for one another should come from a heart of humility.. Mm-hmm... instead of what's in it for me. Mm-hmm. And so to love one another... is to serve one another.. Yeah... in love. Mm-hmm. And when you do this, when you're putting other people first.. Yeah... when you're willing to humble yourself for the sake of other people... that's how people outside the church can look at God's church and say... there's something different about them.

Keidra Hobley: 12:13

Yeah. That's so good. That's so good. I'm going to the verses that talks about, if your brother tries to steal your shirt, give him your coat. Mm-hmm. If he slaps you to turn the other cheek... you know, those types of things. You have to have the love of Christ in order to be able to do those types of things.

Susan Dies: 12:28

That's right. But because it's so different and it's not what people expect.. Right... it stands out. Yes. And when it said if someone forces you to go one mile, go two. Yeah. People were being forced to go two miles and you would think they would be upset about that. Mm-hmm. But someone who's filled with the love of Christ.. Yeah... takes that as an opportunity to humble themselves and to actually serve them. So really it takes the sting out of being forced to do it.. Come on...'cause you really didn't force me to do it. Right. I chose to do it. Yeah. And so that gives you a different mindset. Yeah. If that makes sense.

Keidra Hobley: 13:01

It does. It goes back to the verse in Colossians that says everything that we do... do it as unto the Lord.. Mm-hmm... and not as unto men. That's right. And when we take that position, then it doesn't matter what people throw at us, it is'cause we're, we're offering it back as a sacrifice to the Lord.

Susan Dies: 13:15

That's right. I used to think to myself, there are a lot of things that I would not do for other people. Mm-hmm. Some things I wouldn't even do... for myself, but because of what Christ has done for me.. Yeah... if He ask me to do it, I'm gonna do it. And sometimes when it's hard, I just envision Christ up on that cross.. Mm... dying for me... and saying, Susan, will you do it for me? Oh. And I can do it for him. Yeah. But I have to get that mindset going.. Yeah...'cause sometimes it's really hard.. Yeah... to die to self. That's so good. That's a beautiful illustration. Oh, I love that.

Keidra Hobley: 13:48

No pun intended. All right. One Corinthians 13, as we know, is the love chapter. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us some of the characteristics of a God kind of love. It says,"Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes. Love, perseveres and love never fails. Mm-hmm. Like, come on. That almost seems unattainable. Right?

Susan Dies: 14:30

It is. Because this is describing God's perfect love. Mm-hmm. And the thing that stands out to me in this passage is that Paul lists just as many things that love is.. Mm-hmm... as he does... that love is not. Yeah. And I think that's important because love isn't always what we do. Sometimes love is seen just as clearly by the things we choose not to do.

Keidra Hobley: 14:54

Oh, that's good.

Susan Dies: 14:55

So yes, we feel loved when someone is patient and kind, but we also feel loved when someone chooses not to be irritable, or arrogant, or rude. Right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. The other thing that caught my attention is verse 13, where it says,"these three remain... meaning these three are eternal... faith, hope and love.. Mm-hmm... but the greatest of these is love. And so I was thinking, why is love greater than faith? Why is love greater than hope... if all three things are eternal? Mm-hmm. And the answer is really twofold. Number one, the Bible says that God is love. Yeah. And there is nothing greater. And the second thing is in heaven, our faith is gonna be made sight. Right? Yeah. And all of our hopes are gonna be fulfilled. And so faith and hope will no longer be needed once we're in the presence of God.. That's so good... who is love. Yeah. And so one day when we stand before God, all that's gonna matter are these three questions? Did we have faith in God? Did we place our hope in God? Yeah. And did we accept the love of God that he offers to us in Jesus? That's so good. Faith, hope, and love.

Keidra Hobley: 16:04

That's beautiful. Like I never really thought about that... the fact that faith and hope will no longer be needed in glory. I don't need to have faith in God at that point because I'm standing before him. That's right. I don't have to have hope for eternity because I'm living in it.

Susan Dies: 16:19

Yeah, and he's already made all things right and new. Yeah. So everything that made us feel hopeless this side of heaven is no longer an issue. Come on. Amen.

Keidra Hobley: 16:28

Amen. How about a couple more? Wanna do a couple more? Okay. Let's look at Matthew 5:44. This verse says, Love your enemies." Okay, now it's getting real. Okay?"Pray for those who persecute you." That's an instruction from the Lord. It's not a suggestion, it's an instruction. Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you. So Godly love is not dependent on whether or not the recipient is worthy of it.

Susan Dies: 16:54

Mm-hmm. That's what I call this impossible love. Oh, I love it. But verse 45 tells us why he's given us this command. Okay. It's so that you may be sons of the father. Mm. We are never more like God than when we are loving our enemies.. Yeah... when we're praying for those who persecute us, and I'm not sure, but I think this is probably the hardest command in all of scripture. Yeah. Even harder than God's command to forgive the people that hurt us. Mm-hmm. You know, it's one thing to be able to forgive someone, but to love an enemy, you know, that's a whole other thing altogether. Yeah. And to pray for an enemy, it just goes against everything in our human nature. And so I got to thinking, what does loving an enemy look like? Yeah. You know? And I'm not talking about the person who hurts our feelings or, speaks badly about us, or even that person in our life who's so miserable that they wanna make everyone around them miserable. Mm-hmm. You know, that's not really a true enemy to me. That's just a difficult person. Yeah. I'm talking about how do we love someone who has taken something from us? Something we love... something that we can never get back.. Mm-hmm... who robs us of our peace and our joy every time it crosses our mind. Yeah. In my mind, that's a real enemy. And so I got to thinking that, forgiveness is an act of love.. Yeah... especially for someone who truly is remorseful. You know, sometimes people do terrible things.. Mm-hmm... and all we can think about is how much we maybe want to hate them, even though God is calling us to love them. And so to forgive... is an act of love. It doesn't mean that we have to have a relationship with this person. Yeah. We don't have to feel affection to love or to forgive that person. Forgiveness is really as much for us as it is for them. Yeah. Maybe even more so... because it frees us from that anger, and that bitterness, and the hate that unforgiveness fosters in our heart and our mind. And that's so important because if we don't release those things, if we don't forgive... that bitterness that we're holding onto is eventually gonna spill over into our healthy relationships. Yeah. And so forgiveness is an act of love for them and for us. That's so good. And to pray for an enemy is an act of love. You know, it's one thing to forgive, but it's something else altogether to pray for an enemy, because we typically think of praying for someone as asking God to help them in some way or to bless them. Yeah. But what if the prayer is simply for God to convict them. Yeah. Or to help them to see the pain that they've caused or even to save them. Mm-hmm. You know, the Bible says that when we do good to an enemy it's like pouring, burning coals on their head. Yeah. And so secretly, that's really what we wanna do. We love that. Yeah. But it also says that the Lord will reward us. Mm-hmm. So when we're willing to forgive an enemy, we're willing to pray for an enemy, it may bless them in some way.. Yeah... they may not even receive it though, and that's okay too.. Yeah... but the reward is for us.

Keidra Hobley: 19:56

That's so good. I just turned to the scripture that came to mind as you were saying that. Ephesians 1:17-19 is a verse that I'm constantly encouraging people to pray in situations like this. It says,"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious father, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better. Come on, this is a prayer you're praying over your enemy, so to speak. Right? I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope.. Come on... there's that word hope from the last episode... that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. Mm-hmm. That's a beautiful prayer to pray over our enemies. It's, yeah, and it keeps our heart pure as we pray for them, because we know it comes straight from the word.

Susan Dies: 20:48

Right. To pray salvation.. Mm-hmm... for an enemy. Mm-hmm. I mean, that's a huge sacrifice of love. That is. But if you think about it, it's a benefit too, in the sense that it brings more light into the world. Mm-hmm. If that enemy never gets saved, then they just continue spreading that darkness. Yeah. So not only did they hurt you... but it's gonna hurt other people. So we're doing ourselves, and the world, a favor.. Yeah... when we pray, Lord, would you save that person? Would you reveal to them what they've done and help them to come to that place of genuine brokenness? Yeah. And if you think about it in their brokenness, if they do come to salvation, they're gonna spend the rest of their life thinking about what they did that hurt you. They're gonna think about it more after salvation.. Yes... than they did before. Mm-hmm. And so it's really not releasing them in the sense that, they just get off scot free. Yeah. They've got to live with the things that they've done. And as a Christian, I know for myself personally, when I think about the things that I've done, it just breaks my heart. Just think about ways that in my own ignorance.. Mm-hmm... or in my own selfishness that I hurt other people. Yeah. So forgiveness is for them...... but it's also largely for us... and God knows what he's doing.

Keidra Hobley: 22:06

Yeah. That's beautiful. All right, we're gonna hit this hard one last 1 John 4:8. It says,"But anyone who does not love does not know God. For God is love." If I don't love... then I don't know God. Like that hits hard, especially for a believer, for someone who professes Christ, you know?

Susan Dies: 22:28

Right. The word"know" in this verse is a Greek word that means to have an intimate and personal relationship with God. Mm-hmm. And so anyone who does not love... does not have an intimate personal relationship with God. Mm-hmm. To know about God... and to know him personally are two different things.. Yeah... and so that will affect our ability to love. Our ability to love others with the kind of love that God has poured out on us is evidence that we truly are God's children... that we've been saved and that we're being transformed.. Mm-hmm... to be more and more like Jesus. Love is the true litmus test, so to speak, that we belong to God and I can't think of any greater encouragement... or any greater reason for us to share his love with others than that. That's so good.

Keidra Hobley: 23:14

I like the end of that verse. It says, for God is love, and God is a God of relationship. And I think it's so easy in today's society with social media being so prevalent, we feel like we know people that we don't actually know. That's right. Because I know a lot about you... I think I know you... and, oh, I just love you. I just love you. Right. And we, we can kind of take that into our spiritual life. Because I know so much about God... because I've read so much of the word... I've gone to so many church services... I have done this... I've done that... and I know so much about him that it makes me feel like I have a relationship with him. Hmm. And therefore I love him. If we don't really know him, we're not really in relationship with him, then we can't really love him. And it goes back to what you said at the beginning. His love language is obedience. And so if we are not in that kind of relationship where we love him, to the point of being obedient to him, we probably do need to ask ourselves some tough questions. That's right. Yeah. Did I push the like button and the follow button on the social media account of Jesus? Or am I truly in relationship with him? Like I know him personally?

Susan Dies: 24:24

I think that's a good place for us to end our podcast today, just to give our listeners something to think about. I'm just gonna pray us out. Is that okay? That's perfect. Father, thank you so much for loving us and for proving your love for us by sending your son Jesus to die for us... to pay the penalty for our sins. Thank you for forgiving us Lord.. Thank you... even when we don't deserve it. Help us to share your love with others... even Lord, to those who are hard to love, even to those we don't wanna love. Lord, help us to trust you in this... to forgive... and to love and to pray, even for those who have hurt us deeply, knowing that when we love in these ways, Lord, we're reflecting your character and your heart, and you're transforming us to be more and more like your son Jesus. May others see you in us. May others come to know you through us. And Lord, may your kingdom come and your will be done. And we pray all these things in the precious, and powerful, and beautiful name of your son Jesus, who has loved us beyond measure and beyond reason. Amen.

Keidra Hobley: 25:28

Amen.