Susan Dies 0:38

Well, welcome to the One Yes at a Time podcast. My name is Susan Dies and I'm here with my friend and co-host Keidra Hobley, and today we are excited just to be able to get out.. Mm-hmm... and get together and record a couple of episodes because like so many of you we've been stuck at home.. Yeah... for the past week as a result of the ice storm that really impacted over half the United States. And so it's good to see the sun shining, to see the ice melting, to see the streets clearing and traffic moving. Did y'all have any issues, with power outages or.. No... water supply?

Keidra Hobley 1:09

Praise the Lord. Okay. My light stayed on, my water kept running, and I was just so excited to be home in my pajamas for five days straight. It was great.

Susan Dies 1:18

That's awesome. Well, we didn't have any issues either, but it's during times like this when we can see so many acts of genuine kindness, not just from family and friends, but also from total strangers. Yeah. And I know you don't do social media... but I, I saw this Facebook post from one of the guys in our church. His name is Ross Setters, and he's probably gonna kill me for calling his name out. His wife had posted a picture of all this food. He had worked all day, came home, cut up 70 pounds of chicken. Oh wow. 70 pounds of down home sausage, bell pepper, onion and celery, and made some good old jambalaya. Come on. And then he put a Facebook message out that said, for anybody that needs to get outta your home, who needs a hot meal, come on by Summer Grove and let us serve you. Wow. And I love that. Ross is just one of those guys that you can always count on to be looking for those opportunities.. Yeah... to just be the hands and feet of Jesus. And today we're talking about saying yes to genuine kindness. And so this is just one example of what that kindness looks like. Have you ever been part of a pay it forward experience?

Keidra Hobley 2:21

I have not. No. Not that I'm aware of anyway.

Susan Dies 2:24

But do you know what I'm talking about?

Keidra Hobley 2:25

I do.

Susan Dies 2:26

Like you're in Starbucks line or Chick-fil-A line and you get to the window only to find out the person in front of you has already paid for yours. Yes. And so then you say, well then I'll pay for the person behind me. Yeah. And then they pay for the person behind them. And the goal is to see how far can one random act of kindness go. Mm. There was a Dairy Queen in Minnesota in 2020, and that chain of kindness and generosity, was 900 cars long. Oh my goodness. Isn't that crazy? That's amazing. Yeah. There was actually a movie called Pay It Forward in 2000. Did you see that? I remember that. Yeah, that's what I remember the term from. I didn't actually see the movie, but I read a little bit about it preparing for this podcast and I'm not gonna give it away, but it actually had a bittersweet ending, which I don't really like. Mm-hmm. When I pay money to go to a movie, I wanna leave happy and uplifted, and it kind of was bittersweet. Mm-hmm. Basically, the social studies teacher gave this group of, I think it was seventh grade kids, an assignment. Mm-hmm. He said, I want you to put a plan into action that would actually change the world for the better. And Kids are so creative. And so he came up with this pay it forward idea where he was gonna do these acts of kindness. And then whoever he did the acts of kindness for, they were supposed to do more acts of kindness. And ultimately this journalist, began to track all of these acts of kindness because they seem connected. Mm. And so he traced it all the way back to this boy. And eventually, of course, they put it was on the news and it inspired this movement through the whole school and the community for people to pay it forward. And the whole point of the movie was just to help us realize that we have no idea how far that ripple effect will travel from one simple act of kindness... and how it can potentially affect hundreds, even thousands of people in a positive way because kindness is so powerful. Yes. What's one of the kindest things that anyone has ever done for you?

Keidra Hobley 4:17

Oh my goodness.

Susan Dies 4:18

That's a hard question. I know that kinda puts you on the spot.

Keidra Hobley 4:21

Yeah.. Ooh. The thing that comes to my mind, probably because my love language is acts of service... one day my neighbor came over and cut my grass. Okay. It was, it was the best day. In the heat of the Louisiana summer, that's a big deal. The heat of Louisiana. Kind of summer, I'm laying in bed, I'm hearing this lawnmower, it is sounding closer and closer. I peek out the window and my next door neighbor had come over and cut my grass. Wow. And it wasn't because it was so unruly that, you know, it was like, oh my gosh, somebody needs to cut her grass. It, it was literally just a genuine act of kindness and it blessed me so much.

Susan Dies 4:53

When I think about this, it is a hard question because I've had a lot of people over the years, throughout the course of my life to do a lot of kind things for me, very selfless things. And so I hate to pick just one thing, but something that always comes to my mind when I think of just true kindness is one morning, in a difficult season in my life, I opened up the front door and there was this little gift book.. Mm-hmm... called Jesus Is My Everything. Mm-hmm. And there was a note inside that said, I hope that you slept well because I stayed up all night praying for you." Oh.. Isn't that something? Like, that's beautiful. She literally spent the night looking up scriptures and praying them over my life and then left me this little book and just wanted me to know, that she had been really at spiritual war for me all night long. That's beautiful. And.. Yes... I just think it's so interesting that she asked the Holy Spirit... bring these verses to mind. Mm. You know what she needs. You know what's going on in her life and let me pray them back over her. So that was just one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me. You know, lots of studies have actually shown that kindness, whether you're doing the act of kindness or you're on the receiving end of that kindness, it triggers these feel-good chemicals in our bodies. Right. Dopamine. Yeah. Endorphins. Serotonin. Things like that, that gives us this sense of satisfaction and wellbeing. It Also lowers blood pressure and cortisol, so that helps us to feel less anxious and less stress. And so kindness has a lot of benefits. Mm-hmm. Health benefits, but other benefits as well.

Keidra Hobley 6:23

To me kindness is such a gift that, um, we can give to others and others give to us. Because there's nothing we do to earn it or to deserve it. Mm-hmm. And there's nothing that we have to give to reciprocate for it. Right. And so I think, you know, that's a benefit just to be able to receive with nothing attached to it. Right. It's, it is truly, to me, a benefit of kindness. It's just a gift.

Susan Dies 6:46

Yeah. And I think we need to be better at receiving. Mm-hmm. I think we're a lot better at giving a lot of times than we are at receiving. But one of the benefits that I think about is our relationships are better when we choose kindness. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. Kind people are generally happier people. Yes. So that's a benefit... and acts of kindness contribute to this sense of purpose that everybody needs. Mm-hmm. So a lot of times when you're depressed... or things aren't going right in your world, the best thing you can do is get outside of the four walls of your house.. Yes... and go do something for someone else.. That's so good... to give you that sense of purpose. Do an act of kindness or several acts of kindness for someone else and see if that doesn't lift your spirit. And also, people want to be around other people who are kind... and so kind people are usually less lonely. Mm-hmm. So that is a benefit of being willing to do acts of kindness. It creates bonds.. Yes... between people. There's a verse in Proverbs 11 that says,"Kindness will reward you. Mm-hmm. But cruelty will destroy you." Mm-hmm. Yes. Isn't that so good?

Keidra Hobley 7:50

That is so good. Ephesians 4:32,"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as Christ God forgave you." And that to me, it, it, as I was studying out kindness, that's what I noticed the most, the repetition of whenever kindness was mentioned, how closely related compassion and forgiveness.. That's right... followed behind it. And so it's like you cannot separate kindness from forgiveness. And so I think that's another benefit of kindness is it helps keep our heart free from unforgiveness. Yeah. Yeah.'cause we have to be able to forgive and it also helps minimize selfishness when we're truly kind to other people.

Susan Dies 8:31

Yeah. I love that verse in Ephesians 4:32 that you just talked about, and the reason I love it so much is it begins, as you said, with this command to be kind and compassionate. Mm-hmm. But then Paul takes that kindness to a whole nother level. Mm. Doesn't he? Yeah. He tells us that the best way for us to show genuine kindness, the kind of kindness that God extends to us, that he wants us to extend to others... is to forgive. Yes. So it's not because we want to, it's not because we feel like it, not because someone deserves it, but for no other reason than it's what God did for us in Christ. And yet, I think this is where so many people, even Christians, draw their line on kindness, right? Mm-hmm. Like we don't really think we can do it. Yeah. Most of us don't want to do it, but God has given us His Holy Spirit to help us to do it because not only does this act of kindness allow others to experience the goodness of God through us.. Mm-hmm... our willingness to trust God with our hurt rather than to hold onto our bitterness is where our healing begins. And where there's healing, there's also growth. At least that's been my experience. So what about you? Do you tend to forgive quickly or like a lot of people, does it take you a little bit more time?

Keidra Hobley 9:46

No, I, I practice forgiving quickly'cause I don't have time to sit in unforgiveness. There you go. I just wanna be free and stay free. My bible tells me,'Do not return to a yoke of bondage.' And so to me, I know unforgiveness is a yoke of bondage and I don't wanna go back to that. So I just forgive freely, quickly because I don't wanna stay stuck.

Susan Dies 10:06

Right. I love it. Yeah. And I've learned to do the same thing. That makes me think about Luke 6:31.. Okay... in relation to what we were just talking about with forgiveness. Jesus said these words:"Treat others the way you wanna be treated." That's it. And so, don't we wanna be forgiven? Yes. And so why wouldn't we forgive other people? Because God forgives us the minute that we ask. Yeah. We never have to beg for it. We don't have to plead for it. If you think about it.. He forgave the thief on the cross. He forgave the world when he hung on the cross.. Yeah... without them ever asking. And so it's not really a requirement for another person to ask for our forgiveness, because forgiveness is for us. Yes. It's a benefit to someone else.. Yes... if we're willing to forgive them. But again, forgiveness is where our healing begins because it shows that we're gonna entrust even the most difficult things... the hardest things.. Mm-hmm... to God and trust him with it. So these are the words of Jesus. It's as basic as kindness gets. And every day we have the opportunity to choose how we're gonna treat other people. We can treat them according to the mood that we woke up in.. Yeah... or the mood that we happen to be in... or we can treat them the way we wanna be treated which is with kindness. And so how does a genuinely kind person treat others?

Keidra Hobley 11:24

Unselfishly. Mm-hmm. Um, so, so you're putting other people before yourself. Right. It is not rooted in fear or an attempt to avoid conflict. I think sometimes when we think about, being nice or being polite...You know, sometimes we, we do those things just to avoid confrontation or conflict. We're, we're afraid if we do something other than that, that, you know, it, it may stir up something in somebody else. Mm-hmm. When we're kind that's not where our motive is coming from. Right. That's not where we're thinking about. You know, it's really an act that's outside of ourselves... that's gonna benefit someone else.

Susan Dies 12:04

That's so true because when I looked up the Greek word for kindness, what I found is that the original word that the writer uses for kindness is'chrestotes'.. Okay. And it gave me a much deeper understanding of true kindness, because this word encompasses all the things that we've mentioned.. Mm-hmm... but again, because God is in it... it's gotta be taken one step further, right? Mm-hmm. The kindness that Paul talked about, that flows from our life as a result of the presence and the power of God's Holy Spirit living in our heart is not just someone being nice, or helpful,or friendly, or polite, or considerate, or respectful. Mm-hmm. It is all those things, but true kindness is purposeful and it is completely others' focus. Yes. So it's this spirit produced goodness in us that seeks to meet the needs of others without any expectation of something in return. That's so good. That's how you know it's true kindness. Because let's just say we do something nice for another person.. Mm-hmm... but they don't fully appreciate it. Mm. If we get upset about that.. Right... it wasn't truly kindness.

Keidra Hobley 13:10

For them... and it wasn't for them in the first place. It was for us.

Susan Dies 13:12

No, it was for you. Right. I think a lot of people want something in return for their kindness. Like, I'll be kind to you as long as you're being kind to me. I'll help you as long as you're helping me. I'll meet this need for you if you meet this need for me. And again, that's the way that we can know if it's genuinely kind and if it's the kindness that is coming from the power of the Spirit.. Mm-hmm... living in us... is when we do something kind and it literally has no strings attached. Mm-hmm. When we're kind regardless of whether or not someone gives us anything in return. And even kind to those that are being unkind, and as we just mentioned, forgiveness is the kindest thing you can do.. Yeah... for someone who's being unkind and that's power. Yes it is. In fact, it takes more Holy Spirit power.. Yeah... to forgive than it does to hold on to our bitterness.. And I've experienced the power of Him helping me to choose kindness.. Mm-hmm. And that choice, more often than not, changes everything. Yeah. And I think that's because kindness, when someone else is expecting our defensiveness, it's disarming. Mm-hmm. You ever thought about that? Like.. Absolutely... it, it softens hearts. It brings down the temperature when someone is mature enough to be kind in a situation where there's disagreement and there's tension. Mm-hmm. Have you ever experienced that... someone being unkind to you and you made an intentional choice to respond with kindness.. Mm-hmm... and it totally changed the situation?

Keidra Hobley 14:37

Yes, yes. And sometimes totally changing the situation is that they just choose to walk away... and that's, that's a great benefit too.

Susan Dies 14:45

That's right. I think there's a biblical reason why kindness works in these types of situations, because Romans 2:4 says it's God's kindness.. Mm-hmm... that leads us to repentance. That's it. That's it. It's not his anger. Mm-hmm. No one's ever gonna see they're wrong in the face of our anger. Yes. It's not the fear of consequences. Yes. It is His kindness.. Mm-hmm... that leads us to repentance. In the middle of our sin.. Mm-hmm... he's kind to us. Yes. And while we were still sinners... Christ died for us. And when we choose to be kind to someone who's not treating us with kindness, it can have the same effect. And just As with us and God, his kindness may not change us immediately.. Yeah... it may take some time. It's the same with us and other people. Our kindness to another person may not change things immediately, but if we continue in that kindness.. Mm-hmm... their heart, at some point, typically softens and God's spirit is able to move in them in a way that He couldn't have before when we were responding with anger.

Keidra Hobley 15:46

That's so great. And so, yeah, kindness makes reconciliation possible with God and with others. Can we just go back to that Romans 2:4? Absolutely.'Cause I wanna look at the other side of that. Okay. The fact that God's kindness is intended to turn us from our sin. It didn't say God's niceness will lead us to a repentance. It's his kindness. Now I realize they're not synonyms. Right. And so we can be nice to people... just to to placate. But that's not going to necessarily turn anyone to repentance. Right. To turn them away from their sin. We think that, you know, our niceness is gonna help lead people to Christ... and that's not, in and of itsself true. Whereas kindness is different in the fact that kindness will still speak the truth in love. Mm-hmm. You know, because if you're gonna lead to repentance, that means there's an acknowledgement that I've, I've been sinful. Mm. Right? So there's no need for repentance if you haven't done anything sinful. Right. Right. And so I just wanted to point that out... that we can't just think that kindness and niceness are synonyms... because one will lead someone to repentance and the other won't.

Susan Dies 16:48

Right. There has to be that acknowledgement but also that understanding that every sin caused Jesus to have to go to the cross. That's right. That's why he went to the cross. That's so good. And we don't want to continue to be part of what put him there in the first place. Mm-hmm. Or made him have to go through what he went through.. Yeah... to show his love and his kindness.. That's so good for us. So let's get practical. Okay. What are some things that we can do to cultivate kindness so that others can see the power and the presence of God's spirit at work in us through acts of kindness? Mm-hmm.

Keidra Hobley 17:20

I think we have to start out just being intentional about it. Like I don't think we are accidentally kind. Right. Yeah. Intentional daily acts. That's it's it. And so, you know, it may start out as, okay, today I'm gonna be kind to two people. Mm-hmm. And, and you may have to plan it, and prepare for it, and be intentional about it. So I think, you know, when you say practical... to me, that's practical.

Susan Dies 17:44

And it may be a husband, it may be a friend, it may be a coworker, it may be kids, family, a stranger. Mm-hmm. The point is just spread true kindness. Mm-hmm. Where you're doing something for another person, not expecting anything in return, and see if that doesn't make a difference in your own heart and life.. Yes... as well as in the heart and life of another person. What about smiling at people? Come on. Yes, please, everybody. Yeah. Even if someone doesn't smile back at us, I think it's amazing how a simple smile can just make another person feel seen. Mm-hmm. Have you ever been having maybe a down day and then you pass somebody that just gives you the biggest.. Yes... brightest smile? Yes. And you don't even know that person. You don't have a conversation with that person. Mm-hmm. But in that moment, it just does something.. Yes... to you... and it changes everything. It does, it does.

Keidra Hobley 18:32

The one that came to my mind was just opening the door for someone else. That is literally.. Just a simple courtesy... putting other people before yourself. Like literally. I I went to the post office just the other day and you know, there's oftentimes a long line in the post office... and you rush outta your car so you can jump in line before the other two, three people that are getting out of their car. But I, I stood and I held the door for everybody else that went in, which put me.. 30 minutes behind. Well, not 30 minutes, but you know, three people.. It can be... later in line but something simple like that. And I'm glad that you used the example of smiling because I felt the need to say kindness doesn't have to cost money. Right. It will cost you something, but it doesn't have to be money. I think a lot of times when we think acts of kindness, we think we have to buy something to tangibly give someone something. But kindness doesn't have to cost you money. It may cost you a little time, it may cost you getting over yourself and how you're feeling, but it doesn't have to always cost money.

Susan Dies 19:29

Well, and our time is our greatest resource. It is. You know, we're giving ourselves and we're giving our time. I thought about this, send at least one encouraging text to someone every day. We all have our phones with us. Mm-hmm. But don't expect a response.

Keidra Hobley 19:47

Please say that again.

Susan Dies 19:48

Don't expect a response or an encouraging text in return. That's not the point. Yes. It's not about us wanting someone to think that we're such a great encourager. Like thank you so much for that incredible, encouraging text that you sent me this morning. If they never text you back. Mm-hmm. Be satisfied with the fact that God used you to encourage.. That's good... another person. Because this is about them. Tell them that you're thinking about them. Mm-hmm. Or that you're praying for them, or even that you're proud of them. You don't have to get upset if somebody doesn't thank you... Many times people will. Yeah. But sometimes people won't. But again, it's about that expectation. Giving something to get something.. Mm-hmm... but that's not genuine kindness. Kindness, in and of itself, is its own reward. That's so good. And then, just offering to help someone with a genuine need. The Holy Spirit can give us discernment.. Mm-hmm... about what a true need is. But just offering to help someone. Yeah. And then make yourself available. Yes. And by that I mean, allow yourself to be inconvenienced. Mm-hmm. Allow yourself to be interrupted. When we're willing to stop what we're doing and prioritize another person... and what's important to them... and what's going on with them, what's on their mind, and whatever their need may be without becoming impatient or irritable... that is genuine kindness. Mm-hmm. Because people can be so impatient when you interrupt their day.. Yes... or when you interrupt their train of thought. But instead, if we could see it as an opportunity that God is giving us.. Yes... to practice kindness... and to be willing to put another person first. Mm-hmm. And to grow in this area of our life. To make someone else feel like they matter more. I think that's important. That is very important. Anything else? Other things that are kind, that you can think of we could do? Cook a meal.

Keidra Hobley 21:33

Oh yeah. That's always a good one. Cook a meal. Yeah.

Susan Dies 21:36

Clean someone's house. I think you have to really know someone well to allow someone.. Absolutely. You could offer, but they're probably gonna say no.

Keidra Hobley 21:43

Well, sometimes it depends on the relationship because that just brought back to my remembrance one young lady who was renting an apartment and she was sharing how the leasing office wouldn't come up and clean her stove. Like it was not a good situation.. Mm-hmm... when she moved in... what it looked like. And so one day when I knew she was at work and her daughter was at home, I went by. With all my cleaning supplies. Yeah. And I cleaned her stove and when she got home, she was like, oh my gosh, who, what happened? And her daughter took a little while to tell her who did it...'cause didn't do it.. Right... for, for recognition. I did it because it needed to be done. And so, something as simple as that. I. It's one of my favorite things that I've gotten to do. Yeah. You know, things like that. And you're right, the kindness act itself was the reward. It wasn't a thank you, it wasn't anything else. So, yeah, absolutely. Right. I think cooking a meal, cleaning a house, especially when I knew I needed to clean my own stove. That's right. But I, put her stove ahead of mine. Like it's, it's when you put others ahead of yourself that kindness really becomes the actual reward.

Susan Dies 22:45

I think that's a big part of it, just cultivating a heart of gratitude... to be kind to other people for no other reason.. Yeah... other than God has been so kind to you.. Mm-hmm... to us. There's all kinds of things that we can do to show the goodness of God in action through our lives. But I wanna end today's podcast with a thought that I want us to ponder, and it's not necessarily a feel good thought, but it is a good thought. Okay. It's Romans 11:22 and it says,"Consider. Both the kindness and severity of God." Mm-hmm. That's good."Severity toward those who disobeyed. Mm-hmm. But kindness to you if you continue in his kindness." And so what does that mean? It means first and foremost, that God is kind. Yes, He is. And that in His greatest act of kindness He sent his one and only son Jesus to make a way for all people to be saved so that anyone who's willing to put their faith and trust in Jesus and what he did for us on the cross could spend an eternity with God who loves us beyond what we could ever imagine, and who in his kindness has prepared a place for us in heaven so that we can be with him forever. Mm-hmm. He's extra. Yeah. He's extra. If all we got was the forgiveness of sin.. Mm-hmm... that would be enough... but he always goes that extra step. He wants a relationship with us.. Mm-hmm... here on this earth.. Yeah... that's gonna extend all the way through eternity, in a beautiful place called heaven. But for those who have rejected God. Mm-hmm. Those who refuse to believe in God, those who mock Jesus, those who refuse his gift of grace, it's clear in the Bible in many places, but definitely here, that's what it's talking about, the severity of God. There is a day of judgment coming. Yes. And he's been so patient.. He has... to wait on us over and over again regardless of the decisions that we've made that have not been good or right. Mm-hmm. He's still loves us. He's still waiting. And so I want our listeners to leave today just thinking... Consider both the kindness and the severity of God. How kind and good that he's been to you, what he's saved you from, and to be willing to share that. That's one of the kindest things that we'll ever do for another person, is to share with them the truth about God.. That's so good... and his goodness. Yeah. I heard someone say, how much do you have to hate another person to have this incredible gift, this wonderful relationship with God, and the way to be forgiven, and the way to experience love and joy and peace and patience and kindness, and all these things we've talked about.. Mm-hmm... but not to share it? Wow. And so a lot of people don't really like Christians to try to convert anyone to Christianity. We're not trying to convert anyone. We're trying to introduce you to the God who created you. Come on... who loves you, and who wants to save you from your sin and give you a life here full of purpose, but a life forevermore in a place called heaven.. Mm-hmm... with him. So good. Is there anything more kind? No, that is beautiful. Yeah. And so the question that I want people to ponder is when that day of judgment comes, do we wanna be on the receiving end of his kindness or of his severity? Wow. His judgment. He's done everything he can to show us how much he loves us and how kind he is, but he leaves that choice to us.. Right... ultimately. And the Bible tells us he has shown us what he requires of us. Micah 6:8 says it so clearly. What God requires for us is to act justly. Mm-hmm. To love mercy and to walk humbly with our God. So in other words, to do what is right. Yeah. To be merciful to others.. Yes... as he's been to us. To keep in step with his spirit as we live our lives, to honor him out of gratitude for the kindness that he's shown us. So good. That's all he's asking from us. So kindness isn't just something that we do. Kindness is a lifestyle of God's goodness in action... in our lives. It's us just following the example of Jesus and finding out for ourselves that we're the ones who are actually on the receiving end of God's kindness, and that is our greatest reward.

Keidra Hobley 26:52

Oh, that is so well said. Beautiful. Any last thoughts? Not after that.

Susan Dies 26:56

Alright, well we are outta time today and we hope you've enjoyed today's podcast and that you're already thinking of acts of kindness, that you can do for someone even today. But before you go, we would love for you to scroll down and send us a text or find us at one yes@atime.net and leave us a comment or a review because we would love to hear how God is using this podcast in your life. So until next time, Keidra, would you pray us out?

Keidra Hobley 27:21

Yes, I will. Father, we thank you that you are so kind to us. We ask you to help us to be kind in turn to other people, and particularly help us to share the kindness of your love, and a relationship with you, with others. Help us not to be selfish and just keep that to ourselves. We thank you father so much that you don't expect anything in return from the kindness that you lavish out for us, but you give us an opportunity to enter into relationship with you. Yes. Help us to make that relationship opportunity available to others as well by introducing other people to you. We thank you for it. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen.