Keidra 0:00

Welcome to another episode of the One Yes At A Time podcast. I'm Keidra, here with my friend Susan. And Susan, this is our last episode in-

Susan 0:08

It is...

Keidra 0:09

season two.

Susan 0:09

I can't believe it.

Keidra 0:10

Are you so excited?

Susan 0:10

I'm excited. I'm excited. I think it's been a great season. I'm looking forward to a little bit of a break. Yes. And I'm looking forward to season three so we'll have to take some time to prepare for that, but- Absolutely I'm looking forward to it.

Keidra 0:23

Absolutely. And as the Lord would have it, our topic for our last episode in this season is self-control. It's the one we all wanna hear, right?

Susan 0:31

It's the one we all need to hear. It's, exactly. Self-control is so important, especially because we live in a culture in which the mindset is actually the opposite. You know, the prevalent thinking in our culture today is, "If it feels good, do it." Yeah. But not everything that feels good is actually good for us, right?

Keidra 0:50

That's right.

Susan 0:50

That's right. The other thing is, that mindset, follow your heart. Mm. And I just think that is the worst advice that anyone has ever given anyone- Mm... because it sounds so much like truth- Yeah but it's not the truth. Right. In fact, Jeremiah 17:9, it says, "The heart is deceitful- Yeah above all things." Mm. Like, there is nothing in this world that will lead us astray quicker- Than our heart and more than our heart. Yeah. And the only time our heart is really safe is if it is fully surrendered to God and operating under the power of the Holy Spirit. Yeah. And, in that case, follow your heart. Yeah. because you're really following Jesus- Yeah- so you can't go wrong.

Keidra 1:28

Yeah. That's so good. That is so good. So many believers don't really think about self-control. It means to be in power over yourself. And so I wanna just jump right in to Proverbs 25:28. Okay. That's where it says, "A person without self-control is like a city with broken down walls." In Biblical times, walls were for protection. Right. Right? And so if a person without self-control is like a city with broken down walls, then that means we're leaving ourselves spiritually exposed- when we lack self-control... and so we're leaving ourselves vulnerable to the attack of the enemy... that means that there are no watchmen... because where were watchmen positioned whenever we read about them in biblical times?

Susan 2:09

Up on the walls.

Keidra 2:10

Up on the wall. So if the walls are broken down, that means there are no watchmen. Right? Right. Um, that means that the gate can never be closed. Mm. Because there's no walls to support the gates.

Susan 2:21

So complete access.

Keidra 2:23

When we lack self-control, we give ourselves over to complete access to the enemy. Mm-hmm. I think that's important for us to realize before we even start this conversation. Mm-hmm. So if a person without self-control is like a city with broken down walls, that means we're leaving the door wide open to the enemy and wondering how he got in. Okay? I... Let me share this, too. Okay. Because this is not just about discipline. Mm-hmm. When we talk about self-control- That's right it's not just about discipline. It's about so much more than that. Because discipline can be an act of the will. Right. But we have to remember that self-control is a fruit of the spirit. That's right. And so- And that's a huge difference it's a huge difference. And so this is not just about being impulsive versus practicing- restraint. Mm-hmm. We're talking about being led by the spirit versus being led by the flesh. Mm. That's what we're talking about. Mm. I, I think it's so important we say that in advance. And so self-control is a natural byproduct of being led by the spirit, and a lack of self-control is a natural byproduct of being led by the flesh. Let me give a couple of verses. Galatians 5:16 says, "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want." That goes right back to what you said about following your heart. That's right. The Scripture says we are not to do whatever we want. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For the Spirit of God does not make us timid; it gives us power, love and self-control." Mm-hmm. And so the Spirit that God gave us is the Holy Spirit. That's right. And the fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control. Right. So I just wanted to say that to kinda set the tone of what it is we're talking about here, because I don't want us going into this thinking that I need to be disciplined more. We're not talking about increasing our willpower. Mm-hmm. Okay? I want us to hear what the Spirit has to say so that we can stop walking in the flesh- and start walking in the Spirit, which a natural result of that will be self-control.

Susan 4:32

I wanna go back to, you mentioned the enemy, and you talked about- Mm-hmm... broken down walls- Mm-hmm and how it's complete access. Genesis 4:7. Okay. It says," For sin is crouching at the door." Ah. And it desires to have you." Mm-hmm. "But you must rule over it." Okay. So think about it this way. Sin is crouching at the door. It's outside. It's not inside. Mm-hmm. We still have this measure of control We're not the broken down wall yet. Yeah. But it's outside the door. Yeah. And it's crouching, it's waiting. Yeah. It's hiding almost. Mm-hmm. But you have to open the door to it. Mm. And it's not just gonna pounce on you. Sin is something we have to invite in. Wow. You know, a lot of times we think the devil made me do it. Right. All he can do is present the temptation to sin. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And so again, it all comes down to our choices. Sin is crouching at the door. It's waiting for the opportune time. It's waiting for you to open that door. And if you don't have control over it, you're gonna wind up inviting it in. And it feels good. Yeah. Sin actually feels good, and that's the problem. We think if it feels good, it's gotta be right. Yeah. And that's not true. That's not true. That's a deception.. Yeah... when we're following our heart. But the point is... it may take us by surprise initially. Mm-hmm. You know, some sins we think, "I would never do that." Right. And yet we find ourselves opening the door to temptation- Mm-hmm and before we know it we're inviting it in. Yes. And it becomes a part of our life, and it usually leads to destruction- Mm-hmm of some kind. Yeah. So that's the warning in this verse. Mm-hmm. But it ends with a word of encouragement and hope. It says, "But you must rule over it." So God is saying you have the power to rule over sin. That's good. And of course, we know that Jesus broke the power of sin at the cross. Right. and he also put his Holy Spirit in us to give us the power to say no to sin. Yeah. So I know that was a mouthful, and I hope- No, it's really good everybody was able to follow that. But that was just something that I've really meditated on the last couple of days regarding self-control. Sin has no power over us- Mm-hmm except the invitation and the power that we give it. That's so good. And so when we grow in self-control, we can mitigate a lot of the things that come into our lives that are bad and destructive simply by saying no- Yeah and not giving it any power.

Keidra 6:51

That is so good. Thoughts? Yeah, I have thoughts. Okay. Because the visual that I got as you were sharing that... Uh, okay... so just everybody,... so you know, I'm, I'm not really a pet person. But the visual I got was, uh, like, like a, a stray animal that's- Uh-huh just around your house. Mm-hmm. And then one day you just decide, "Okay, I'm just gonna give it a little something to eat." Uh-huh. Uh, I'm just gonna give it- I've done that, by the way- a little something to drink. Yeah. That's what I envision. They don't go away. They don't go away. They just linger longer, and then at some point you feel sorry for them. Uh-huh. "Oh, well, it's gonna be cold tonight. Let him just come in tonight." And so that's what... that's the visual I got as you were saying, 'sin crouching at your door.' Uh-huh. And we have to invite it in. Like, we don't... I, I would never do that. I would never have a pet. But then, you know, you, you start feeding it. Then you start giving it something to drink. Then you start trying to protect it. Mm-hmm. And then you invite it in. You see how... And then it doesn't seem so bad. It doesn't seem so bad until you realize you got a house full of fleas... or you... or it bites you or something. And so that's the visual I got. So, uh, that's- How interesting that's really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't... I didn't intend to have a pet, but I j- it just gradually happened. Mm-hmm. And then I opened the door to it and, and there it is.

Susan 8:02

You Mentioned 2 Timothy 1:7, and I don't have it written down. I think I can remember it. It says, "For God did not give us a spirit of fear.. Yes... but of power- Mm-hmm... of love, and a sound mind. So I wanna point out that with the gift of the Spirit, every person who comes to God through faith in Jesus receives His Holy Spirit. He comes to live in our hearts, and with that gift comes the power over sin. Yes. The power to live a life that honors God. Everything we need for life and godliness, God has given us through the power of His Spirit. The other thing He gave us is love. Yes. So love for God and love for others is the greatest motivator for us so that we can have self-control and we actually stop long enough to consider what is truly right, and good, and best, and wise... not only for ourselves... but also for others. Because we have to remember that self-control is not just for self. Yeah. It begins with self.. Yes... but it affects literally every area of our lives, and it affects our relationships. Other people, yeah. And so it's important. Yeah. And then self-control- Mm-hmm or the ability to think and act based on facts, and knowledge, and truth, and understanding.. Yeah... so we're able to make good decisions- Mm-hmm and act on that. That's what it means to have a sound mind. That's good. And the Holy Spirit is our source, and 2 Timothy 1:7 makes that clear.

Keidra 9:23

That's so good. If you're running out of- the capacity to be disciplined, it may be because you're doing it out of your own strength, rather than the Spirit. Right. That, that's so good.

Susan 9:33

What other thoughts?

Keidra 9:34

Oh, man. Well, what, what are some of the things that we feel like we have to exhibit self-control over? 'Cause w- even when you said, "What other thoughts?" That's one of the first things- Mm. That's right that we have to have self-control over. Thoughts. We have to have control over our own thoughts.

Susan 9:48

Mm-hmm. That's right. Yeah. We can't control a random thought that comes into our mind. Mm-hmm. And I think we need to say that because a lot of people- Yeah 'well, I can't control my thoughts'. You can't control the ones that just randomly come into your mind, but you can choose the ones you choose to dwell on.

Keidra 10:02

Yes.

Susan 10:03

I think Of the verse that says, "Bring every thought captive to Christ." That's right. And so when that random thought comes and it's not one that's good for us- Yeah we need to march that thing right up to Christ and say- Yes "You gotta help me- That's it get rid of this." That's it. And He will. We have to replace those thoughts- Mm-hmm with the truth, and we have to replace those thoughts with good thoughts or right thoughts. In fact, the Bible tells us what thoughts to think on. Yeah. You know? And so part of self-control is when you're struggling in an area of your life, go to the Bible. 'Lord, what do you have to say about it in your Word? Help me to know the truth about this. Yeah. What about words? Mm. At some point in life, you get to this place where you think you don't have to have a filter anymore. Yeah. I don't know where that happens. I hear a lot of people say somewhere around- 60 age 50. I think it starts earlier here than 60. Oh, does it start earlier? Okay. But yeah, words is an area of life. It could be eating- Mm-hmm drinking. You eat too much, you drink too much. we can all be guilty of those things. It could be finances. Mm-hmm. That's the number one reason for divorce. Yeah. It's not infidelity, it's- Right finances. One partner in the marriage is spending all the money. Uh-huh. What about lust?- Mm-hmm or- Mm-hmm pornography- Yeah or addictions of- Mm-hmm any kind. Literally every area of our life- Yeah needs a measure of self-control. Yes. And we need to know what God's Word says about it.

Keidra 11:24

So good. Let me share some scripture concerning those- Go ahead that you've already mentioned. Okay. You mentioned 2 Corinthians 10:5 already... that we're to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. Mm-hmm. That's, this is, these are the ones concerning our thoughts. And then you mentioned also the Bible tells us what to think about. That's Philippians 4:8, where it says- Mm-hmm "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think on these things." Mm-hmm. So th- those are the types of things we should be thinking about. I like the way you said we can't necessarily control every thought that comes into our minds, but we can choose which ones we dwell on- Right or meditate on- or continue to think about.

Susan 12:05

And if they don't line up with that list that you just read- Mm-hmm... whatever is good, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely- Mm-hmm whatever is true, all those things... those are- cast it out cast it out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes we wanna dwell in it, though. Mm-hmm. I don't really understand why. Yeah. Everybody has that temptation.. Mm-hmm... but the Word is telling us it's not good for us. Yeah. So you have a measure of control over that.

Keidra 12:27

Yeah. A- and I think sometimes we wanna dwell on it because it feeds the flesh. Mm-hmm. But that's why we had to start out by saying, we have to choose to walk by the Spirit. Right? You mentioned about words. Proverbs 18:21 says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue." Mm. And so we have to have control over our words, over our tongue, because every time we speak, it's either speaking life or it's speaking death.

Susan 12:49

And not only that, out of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Keidra 12:52

Come on. Yes. Yes. That's true... and so we have to make sure that we're guarding our heart. We have to make sure that what comes out of our mouth is from the abundance of a good heart. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's right. A heart that's in a good place. You also mentioned several things concerning our bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:13 says, "You can't say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord." Mm-hmm. "And the Lord cares about our bodies." That's right. We're the temple of the Lord. Like, literally, our body is the temple of the Lord, and so we have to demonstrate self-control when it comes to our body because our body is a temple. Right?

Susan 13:27

Right? And I think the biggest problem is we live in a culture where sex is not a big deal anymore. Yeah. Sex before marriage is not a big deal. Mm-hmm. Living together before marriage is not a big deal. Yeah. And if you say something about it- Yeah people feel like you're judging them, when you're really just speaking the truth of God's Word. Right. So we dismiss it. We legislate it. We make a law for it. We make it okay, and people begin to believe that whatever is acceptable or whatever is legal is fine. Yeah. And that's not always the case.

Keidra 14:01

Right. Yeah, and what's the scripture? You may know it off hand, but when Paul says it may be...

Susan 14:07

Everything is permissible. But not everything is beneficial. That's the one. Everything is- Yes lawful but I will not be mastered by anything.

Keidra 14:13

There we go. Yeah. There we go. So good. So- We have to remember that. You mentioned finances, too. I wanna, I wanna share just a couple of verses- Okay on finances. 'Cause yeah, this is the one I got convicted on. Yeah. 1 Timothy 6:6-8, "Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can't take anything with us when we leave it." So, and this is, verse 8 is the one that got me. "So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content." Hmm. Okay, literally-

Susan 14:48

That's not the American lifestyle... No. It's not at all. For anybody.

Keidra 14:51

No, no. It's like more, and more, and more. I need to make- Mm-hmm more money so I can get more, and more, and more. And I literally just made the comment to myself yesterday, "the only thing I spend my money on is clothes."

Susan 15:00

You do always look- Well- like you stepped out of a magazine.

Keidra 15:03

Well, well, praise the Lord. But, but I got convicted by this verse. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. You know, I never saw myself-

Susan 15:11

But I shopped with you one time. Yes. And I know that on $40, you came out with three pair of pants and- A whole wardrobe five shirts and a belt. Oh, come on. And I don't know how you did it. It was a sale of a sale of a sale of a sale.

Keidra 15:23

And- And that's how I shop all the time... and I never thought of it that I'm discontent. Hmm. But when he said, "If you have enough." Well, I have more than enough. Right. And, and I still choose to attain more. Like, what is that about? And so I just have to... I mean, it, it really did. It convicted me. So we have to check our own hearts to see, you know, what is it? What's the source of the discontent that- Hmm causes us to desire more when we already have enough? So what are some things we can do to help develop this fruit of self-control?

Susan 15:58

I read a quote this morning that I think makes so much sense, it holds so much truth. It said, "You can't grow from something that you won't acknowledge." That's so good. And so I think the first step to growing in self-control is simply to acknowledge the areas of your life that are out of control. Mm-hmm. Just be honest with yourself and understand God already knows, and he loves us anyway. And he wants us to acknowledge it to ourself, but he also wants us to confess it to him as a sin. Because if we call it what it is- Yeah then we're able to deal with it, and he is able to deal with it in us. Anything that masters us is a sin. any out of control area of our life points to a sin that has some measure of mastery over us. Mm-hmm. And anything that masters us is idolatry. Yes. When we're looking to anything to satisfy something in us- Mm-hmm that God is meant to satisfy- Yes then that is idolatry. Idolatry. That's good. So I think just acknowledging it for what it is, is probably the first thing. I think confessing it to the Lord as a sin. I think going to God's word, finding out what his word says about it. Mm-hmm. And as we've talked about over and over and over in our podcast, put his word into practice. Yes. Whatever area you're struggling with, find out what God's word says about it, and as you put it into practice, you're gonna grow in self-control because you're gonna see that God's way is the one that is not only best and right and good for you- Yeah... it's gonna help every area of your life. When you have self-control, you're able to enjoy the other things, the love, the joy, the peace, the patience, the kindness, the gentleness, the faithfulness. All of that comes as a result of growing in the fruit of the Spirit. Yeah. I don't know if we've said this or not throughout this series, but it's not fruits of the Spirit. Mm. It's fruit of the Spirit. It's one fruit with nine characteristics. Think about an apple that may have however many characteristics. It's red. It's got a round shape. It's got a stem. It's got yellow flesh. These are characteristics of that fruit. So the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness- faithfulness, gentleness- Gentleness and self-control. Those are the nine characteristics. And so it's either all growing or it's not growing. Mm-hmm. That's good. And so the measure to which we are willing to put into practice God's Word in these different areas is gonna be the degree to which we're growing. That's so good. And so self-control is a huge part of people being able to see these other things in our life.

Keidra 18:28

That's so good. I love that. I love that. Let me just start closing this up with these verses. Romans 13:11-14 says, "This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is. Time is running out." Mm. "Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is almost gone. The day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes and put on the shining armor of right living." Mm-hmm. "Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don't participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity or immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ, and don't let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires." Mm. To me, that says, 'demonstrate self-control.' It sure does. Yes, and it's more urgent now than ever before as the day of the Lord's return- Mm draws near. Yeah.

Susan 19:34

That made me think of Titus chapter 2, verses 11 through 14, that's kind of along those same lines, and I'm gonna read that. It says, "For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people." Mm-hmm. Talking about Jesus. And His grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age while we wait for the blessed hope. the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. So as we're waiting for Jesus to return, this is the kind of life that he wants us to live, an upright and self-controlled life, saying no to ungodliness and to worldly passions. And so that's the motivation right there, is we know that Jesus is coming back... we're waiting for him to come back. That's what Christians should be living for. Yes. And just as you were talking about, the day is coming to a close. Yeah. People don't really like when you start talking about last days. Of course, everything's last days since Jesus ascended back to heaven. He never told us when he was coming back. Yeah. And so he's telling us we need to be living in such a way that the world can see a difference in the lives of believers. Yeah. And self-control- Mm is one of the biggest ways that we do that.

Keidra 20:57

That's so good. Yeah. Yes. So good. So good. All right. You wanna close us out?

Susan 21:01

I think someone needs to hear that self-control isn't about trying harder. Yeah. It's not about human willpower. It's the work of the Holy Spirit in us. In us, yeah. Our work is to surrender to God and to submit to the work of the Holy Spirit That's so good so that he can transform us. Mm. Like, he changes us from the inside out. and as a Christian, as we're growing in self-control, we realize it does get easier because it's not us doing it. Yeah. And so If you find yourself in that situation where you're still just trying harder- Mm-hmm you're still missing the point. Yeah. That's good. Because it's not about you trying harder, it's about surrendering to Jesus.

Keidra 21:37

That's it. Mm. So good. Yeah. What a beautiful way to end.

Susan 21:41

All right. Well, we're out of time today. Thank you so much for joining us. We hope that you've enjoyed this series on the fruit of the Spirit. We did wanna let you know that we're gonna be taking a break for a couple of months so that we can enjoy some summer fun with our family and spend some time preparing for season three. So if you've not already done so, be sure to follow us on your favorite streaming app so that you'll know when the first episode of season three drops. In the meantime, stay in God's Word, keep putting it into practice in your life, and keep finding out for yourself that His ways are best. Y'all enjoy your summer, and we look forward to being with you for season three. Amen. Keidra, you wanna pray us out?

Keidra 22:18

Yes, I sure will. Father, thank you so much for another episode of the One Yes At A Time podcast. Thank you for every listener. Dear Lord, we pray blessings over their lives right now. Keep them over the summer, dear Lord, and allow them to just enjoy your presence as well as their family's. Keep everyone safe, and bring them back in preparation for season three. We thank you for it, and help us all to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit, which includes self-control. Thank you. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen.